Christmas has always been a big deal in my family. My mother has 6 brothers and sisters, and between the 7 of them, there are a total of 14 grandchildren....Most of us are all around about a 3-4 year age range. We try to always get together and stuff ourselves into my grandparents home to celebrate the holiday. Needless to say, back in the day, 14 young children calls for a LOT of presents, and a LOT of noise.
When we all grew up and became adults, we started a new tradition, which was no presents at Christmas. It is the best idea that we have ever come up with, and took a huge load off of everyone. It's not as if we don't want to buy things for each other, but we figured we are all working adults, and there is nothing that we want that we couldn't afford on our own if we didn't have 30 people (literally) to buy for in December. We of course buy gifts for the little kids and fill the tree, but for the most part, we all just buy something that we want for ourselves, make tons of food and bring our favorite bottle of wine. We have been doing this for the past 5 years and I LOVE it.
I rolled out of bed on Christmas morning....I say morning as in 11:30...(we were out at my uncle's bar the night before) and joined my family in the living room when my mother comes up to Ken and I with a beautifully wrapped gift. Of course, I feel terrible because I followed the rules, and didn't get her anything. She smiled and said, " Just open it. I wanted to get you and Ken something very special this year."
Of course everyone in the room erupted in hysterical laughter.... I on the other hand did not think this was funny. Does anyone else think that this gift is a bit psychotic? I am not pregnant, and even if I were she is already assuming she is having a grandson? Granted, when we decided to move back to Georgia, starting a family was a big part of the consideration, but good grief, we have only been here 9 months!
I feel like the baby talk starts as soon as you say "I do." I love how everyone encourages you to have a baby.....as if they are going to help with the 3am feedings, diaper changes, childcare costs, or stretch marks.
I love children, and it did make me think about what exactly I was waiting for. Do I think I am mentally and physically ready to have a child? YES. Am I willing to give up a big part of my social life for parks and potty training? YES. In fact, my liver would thank me for it. I know that it will be hard work, but truly believe that if I do become pregnant, I will be excited, happy, and confident that Ken and I will be committed to being the best parents we can be. So why aren't we having children now? The answer is................. None of your damn business!
I have a very sweet client who has been married for over 30 years and never had children. Her and her husband are very well travelled, throw amazing parties, and spoil the crap out of their nieces and nephews. I know that Ken and I will probably not be that couple, but she did give me great advice on a tactic to get people off your back about getting pregnant.
She said whenever someone asks you when you are going to have children, drop your head, make a pitiful face and softly say, " Oh, ....we're trying...." This will make people so embarrassed for their nosiness, that they will likely not ask you the question again. When you do become pregnant, they will be even more excited and happy for you.
Sounds like a plan to me!
P.S. I am quite aware that I might have to eat my words. I am sure I will be writing a blog entry in the next couple of months with a title... "We're PREGNANT!" Isn't that always how it happens?
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2 comments:
that gift makes me laugh! and this blog made me want you to start trying to have a baby soon. a part of me feels a little like i want to be like that couple and be well traveled and throw fun parties though=)
oh the kid questions. just comes with marriage I guess. laugh along with them, that's all you can do.
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