Monday, January 19, 2009

MLK Day....

It took every ounce of energy to drag myself out of bed this morning. Monday's are always tough for me, because i never go to bed anywhere near my normal time on weekends, so i always wake up feeling sleep deprived. While i was in the shower, i realized that it was MLK day. I decided that i shouldn't complain about going to work today.... i would be humbled and thankful....

This holiday has another special meaning for me. Five years ago, Ken and i went on our first date on MLK day. We went to Houston's in Nashville, TN. The day before, Ken asked me to lunch the next day since we didn't have class. I of course spent hours getting ready; the perfect pair of jeans, my new sweater, stiletto boots and my new leather jacket.....only to meet up with him and find him in stained jeans, a green t-shirt and a black fleece. Seriously? I later learned that he had gotten dressed up, but then changed because he didn't want to seem like he was "trying so hard." It was completely transparent, because what struggling college student would take a girl out to Houston's if they weren't trying to impress her? The car ride to the restaurant was pretty quiet, and i remember thinking to myself.. this is going to be the LONGEST date EVER....

We were in the restaurant, waiting to be seated, and there were kids running around everywhere. Now, i love children, but i get so annoyed when people can't contain their children in public. I looked over at Kenneth and said, "Do you think these bad a$$ kids even know why they are out of school today?" We both fell out laughing. It turned out to be the best first date ever. We talked, laughed, fed each other food, held hands and even the waitress thought we were completely cute, and that we had been together for years. Hmmm....maybe we were completely annoying and she was just being nice?

This morning i got a call from Kenneth, inviting me to lunch. This is the first time since i moved to Chicago, that both of our schedules have allowed us time to have lunch together. While we ate and talked,we both looked at each other in awe. Who knew that lunch 5 years ago would lead to this one?

I am always very reflective on this day every year and the same thing runs through my mind......Dr. King's dream is not the only dream come true i think of on this day.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New Year...New Haircut...New Attitude

I have always had this thing about thinking that the longer my hair is the skinnier i look. Naturally, I wasn't very happy seeing locks of my hair fall to the floor in the salon, but i decided to view the cut as a bit of a shed for 2009. I am already shedding pounds so why not shed some some hair as well?

I spent NYE with Callie in Raleigh, and we had a great time. I was a bit overwhelmed when i first got there....i was still working on finishing up some projects for work....i was literally in the Super Target in Raleigh on a conference call with my client. Thankfully i got everything wrapped up, and ended the year on a very high note. Callie and I did some major shopping, had a lot of laughs, watched lots of movies, and had a fabulous NYE Dinner at Sullivan's equipped with sparkling wine, and...well there was supposed to be live jazz, but instead there was an Elvis impersonator.....good times either way!

It really got me to thinking about what i wanted to focus on for next year. I can honestly say that i spent 2008 in was such a blur of events. It was my first year of marriage, we bought our first home and moved, i took a promotion at work, my basement flooded 3 times, and i had my first (and hopefully my last) visit to the ER via an ambulance just to name a few.

For 2009, i truly want to focus on making time for the things that are emotionally, physically and spiritually fulfilling to me. (Making the Time in 2009?? cheesy...but it works). I want to make time to work out, read books, finish projects that i never have time to start, long walks with my dog, more quality time with my husband, and strengthening my relationship with Christ.

Now i am sure you are wondering how i am going to make time for all of this. I was too at first and i figured out exactly how i am going to do it. I am going to ELIMINATE the time i spend doing things that do not fulfill me, make me better, or positively effect my life. I cringe when i think about all the time and energy i spend on doing things for people who would not do the same for me, and how i consider the feelings of everyone else before i do or say anything to hurt them, and yet so often the same amount of care is not granted to me. These things deplete me. I also realized that the whole "whoa is me" thing is completely overrated....I complain and whine to my friends, and talk about all the reasons why i felt like i was being mistreated and of course they agree with me, because they love me, support me and don't want to hurt me.... but that is just the doesn't heal the wound....I love that they are my shoulder to cry on, but it is very easy to get confirmation from people who tend to always agree with is so much harder to look at your own actions, and what you did to cause your own circumstances. This is particularly hard for me, because if you know know there is ALWAYS something happening to me!

Here is what i know for sure. I am not perfect and i will always be a work in progress. I do however, have the power to influence my environment, and as long as i spend time entertaining things that don't make me feel best about myself, i will never be as fulfilled as i can be. I cannot always control what happens to me, but i can control my words, thoughts, choices and reactions. Not only can i control these things, it is my responsibility to make sure that those things are used to enhance my life, and the lives of those around me. I am committed to making the time to working on myself, and doing things that complete me, so that in turn i am a better wife, believer, steward, daughter, sister, and friend.

I can already feel's going to be another great year.